I got hired for a seasonal job this last week after no one getting back to me for 9 months.. my parents, my nail lady, and my friends are all very happy even if it is only part time. I had to go to the training yesterday, but I had an appointment with this therapist I've been been seeing a couple hours before that. I kind of hate her. I don't think I want to see her again.   She no-showed me last week and I told her this week that that really pissed me off. I also told her I had finally gotten a job and I had the training that day. Going to heavily paraphrase, but we mainly ended up talking about doing nails as a career, since she was staring at my nails the entire duration of the appointment. I didn't want to talk about nails since I thought the other things I had this week were more important. She asked why I don't do that if I went to school for it. My main thing is still that I don't want to waste Lilly's time. I know what it takes, even to start, like work...

 I need to..... make a doctor's appointment. What are you supposed to say on the phone? When was the last time I went to the doctor? 2 or 3 years ago I think.. But I've been having terrible migraines again. I've reached the point where eating or sleeping doesn't do anything, I have to take medication for it to go away, but I'm worried that over time that'll stop working. like,... what am I supposed to do then? scary..   hm. what else. what else. I've started watching TV again cus my dad stopped being a cheap ass and now we have the subscriptions without ads. I watched Smiling Friends first since Leo told me I should watch it. I think that was a good starting point since I haven't watched anything at all in so long. I liked it, it's funny. Mister Boss is my favorite character, I think he's like Adam West on Family Guy, so that's why he's my favorite, but I like all the characters. Then I watched Moral Orel, cus my friend Elsa on twitter ha...

 I want to make another blog banner.. I've been wanting to for a while, but I really think that look I'd done with the massive hime mori and full perfume set is my best. hm. hm. I don't kno~www.  There's like.. 3 or 4 blog posts I need to make, but I keep getting sidetracked and ultimately forgetting. I want to make one for my nails, one going over my HDLA coord details, and one going over my day with Ari and sharing my photobooth pictures with her. ok~  hm.. I also want to make one with pictures of the animals I saw at the San Diego zoo.. I got to see my 2 favorites, the tigers and the okapi :-3. oh! oh! and the pandas! I got to see both, I didn't get great pictures tho <\3..  What else.... I like writing all of my thoughts out on here, but at the same time ... I don't know. I think it's easier to put how I feel in writing, and this is one of the places I'm able to do it, but I don't want to..., bring other people's day down as a result.   na...

 Had a stalker for over a year. Only really came out in full around the 9th. Julie had warned me about her near the end of this last year, saying she was obsessed with me and that I should keep an eye out for her since it sounded more like a stalker kind of obsession as opposed to the ones I have for my own friends. Honestly, I think the only reason I managed to not be so freaked out by this girl is because of how Julie'd originally described her to me; as being seemingly infatuated with me, and that she would ask people about me; so I wasn't really 'put off' by her in the way that (after having seen how much she'd said) I honestly should have been. I think if I hadn't been told this last year, that seeing those messages 2 days before doing anything about it publicly would've been more difficult.   To be honest, I didn't find sharing all of it difficult at all, instead I found it incredibly irritating. I had originally posted what I'd said to her in...

 The 27th was the 8 year anniversary of my account. Not Ageha, but the one I'd made just before I moved. The 4th when we left and the 6th how long I've been here. Every year feels worse than the last. I thought it would eventually pass, but it still hasn't. I don't have any connection to my hometown, the people there don't think of me and I have no place there, but I still feel out of place here. I'm not from here and when I go anywhere other than the strip, people can tell. Where do I fit.. I don't have friends here, and the friends I do have online that I've met in person I don't think like me all that much. I feel very out of place with everyone I know. I know it's kind of stupid to say and goes against lots of encouraging/'moral of the story' type messages, but I want to fit in! I want people to like me and think of me and want to spend time with me or talking to me!   I feel like I've become a very different person since having t...

 hi family, since joining twitter and seeing and becoming friends with other girls who're serious about fashion, I've learned about the gyaru subreddit.. I think some of what's posted there is fun, and it's cool to see people progress, but some of it makes me think a lot.  this being what made me want to make this post ↓  For the overall topic, one thing I see talked about a lot on there is the rules/specifics in gyaru that are (supposedly) heavily enforced, especially in the foreign gal community. Now if I can be completely honest (and don't bite my head off!) I don't really think that's true.. I think a lot of you guys just have lame outfits and are bad at makeup.   Now to keep it real! When I first started getting money to buy my own clothes, it took me awhile to actually have 'good' or 'fashionable' outfits. I think even today, some of what I wear isn't at the standard I'm wanting and I think it looks lame.. but fashion and cool g...

 Having an awful mental anguish filled month. I have not had friends in 5 years. I feel like I shouldn't even count being friends with Leo, he always cancelled on me whenever I'd already made my family aware of my plans. It was so embarrassing having to say time after time that he had something come up last minute. It made me feel like such a loser, and after enough times it made it look like I'd fabricated the entire thing, like he didn't actually exist.   I don't understand why this is a constant in my life. Am I that awful to be around? I don't know what else it could be.  All throughout school, no one ever talked to me over the summer, or on breaks, or on the weekends. No one would ever message me if I didn't show up to class. Yet, people would always call out to me at school, or usher me in to join their conversation. I knew everyone, I talked to everyone, everyday. But outside of this one setting, why did they not care. Why I am I forgotten so quickly....

 Hi family, I feel like there's been lots of talk online lately about many people being... pa-gyaru. Or partially gyaru, within the online community.  I had come across an old gaijin gals blog through Pinterest earlier this week that made me think about this more..  Like, when I first started to be gal, I didn't fully understand why so many of the veteran gals were embarrassed and upset about more people finding out about gyaru. But as I continue trying to progress and create my own look within the style, I understand why they weren't rockin with it.  The people that were doing this shit back in the 2010s were putting their whole hearts into what they were doing. They were real fashionistas! I feel like a lot of the interest and dedication to fashion, hair, makeup, and creating your own unique vibe while still coordinating within your circle is lost on a lot of the people doing gyaru now.  Like.. You know how awhile back, there was this whole debate going on onl...

 I've been having many many thoughts again and haven't made a thoughts blog post in a while. Methinks it's time for one again. As always, all are only half formed and barely coherent.  I haven't felt 'right' doing gal for a while and I don't know why. I like all my clothes and wigs and stuff, but I feel very disconnected. Like. both from other people and myself. I don't really know how to explain it. Posting doesn't feel right. It's not been fun all month. I don't know how to explain it.. but I haven't been feeling like myself all month. I feel like I need to dress like a douche or a boy again for a while. I still like all my MA*RS and wigs, but it hasn't felt like me, especially the last few days.  Recently, I feel as though my clothes, hair, and makeup are wearing me. I feel like none of it is me, but I don't know who I feel like. I've had this type of feeling before, but nowhere near as extreme as how it is this time. Methi...

 I wish I was better at just casual blogging, instead I write all this shit like it's a diary 😭😭 I feel like that's soo not gal ｡⁠:ﾟ⁠(⁠;⁠´⁠∩⁠`⁠;⁠)ﾟ⁠:⁠｡   Anyways, I bought 3 new Hiromi CDs. I learned with this last one I bought that they come with little pictures of her in the jacket :0!! That's the no1 reason I bought Aozora ww. that one comes with 3 lil Hiromi pics :D.  I found both manba issues of egg for sale earlier this week :D!!... I bought it teehee :-3..   My tailbone hurts rn cus I've been sitting on my floor for the last hour w/ no back support. my skinny ass just keeps losing weight & idk what to do about it. I've decided to stop trying 2 gain weight tho. It's not really doing anything tbh.   Gonna hang out w/ Leo for my birthday this year :D. I'm excited :-3! I'm gonna wear my Himena Mars set. I need to tell my swag boss I'm taking the day off work that day 👍.  I haven't taken my meds in.. 2? days. idk. I kinda forgot to o...

  Hi family, I left the house for the first time since my mom totaled my car. I'm lucky I went downstairs before my brother cus he tried arguing with me saying he was gonna take the Corolla; my dad made him take the Escalade cus I haven't gone out once, and he told him to stop being a little bitch and let me have the car lol. コーデ💎 top: thrifted capris: Paris Blues heels: thrifted  Overall I would rate my day an 8. I went to goodwill first and I found a really beautiful porcelain doll for only 6 dollars :0! All my other ones have been 15-25$ so while she's bigger, she's the cheapest one I've gotten.  I looked her up when I got home, she's from 1986 and supposed to be holding a baby. but ya know. goodwill. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯. I don't know what to name her, I don't know what era her dress is supposed to be from, so I don't know where to start for names either. That makes 2 dolls in my collection without names 😮‍💨. Aunt Fridays opinion on her lmao  The...

  Hi family, had my hair appointment yesterday. Afterwards we went to the Tokyo World store in the same shopping center. I got a Kuromi I'd seen last time; last time there was a matching MyMelo, they were both so cute :0..  アイドルクロミちゃん outfit pics  I could not stand my outfit today. I hated everything about it. I felt disgusting every time I tried taking a picture, I wanted to throw my phone at the wall. I thought I looked fine in the mirror and every picture I took made me sick to look at.  I'm getting rid of that shirt and every other one I own like that, I think they make me look disgusting. I feel like I looked like I was 85 percent leg and 15 percent head. I hate shirts like this, they completely remove my waist making me look like I really am all leg. It looks awful.  I'm disgusted with how I look today. I did not want to post any of the front camera pictures I took, they all looked awful. I deleted them all from my phone after posting. I'll probably archiv...

 Hi family, I was bored today since I can't leave my house right now :(. I needed to do my laundry and take pics of my clothes to upload online, so I did that before I did my makeup.   Today I wanted to do a similar, more girly version of what I did on Sunday, so it'd look more 2006 Ageha as opposed to looking like 2004 egg.   I wore my black JD dress today. I was thinking about selling it. I don't think I will now.. I need to go through everything I own and list what I'm willing to part with. I only have 2.5k and the other Rondo is around 5.5k :(. I'll take any money I can get at this point. It's shockingly motivating in not spending money.   Anyways, I like how todays co*de turned out. I wore simple shoes, but I wore more detailed tights in hopes of matching the dress. I also wore a big pink rose in my hair today. I don't have any that are the same color as the roses on my dress, but this one is pretty close.  せるふぃー today's 2nd fav 😺 this one i...

  Hi family. Been having many thoughts again.. I don't know if my medication is working or if the dosage needs to be raised :(. It's hard to tell.  I know I say it like, every other post, "been having many thoughts lately", but I don't always share what those thoughts are. I'm not gonna add the link for this one to the gram just cus today's post is gonna suck a little.  I feel like even though I want to get better at acting more normal, sometimes my autism just doesn't want to allow it. It makes me nervous answering dms from people who I haven't spoken with before because I know I can come across as odd and rude without really meaning to. I'm glad I've been able to make friends online though, they seem to understand what I'm trying to say or get across even when I fuck it up 👍. But still. idk  As far as how I've been lately... mmm. no me gusta. For the last month and a half now, I've been waking up at 6:30 everyday, regardless ...

 I have a lot to say on this but I don't know how to start..   I feel many people who want to get into gal are bombarded with misinformation and misguided by popular gal inspired influencers. A lot of these people end up being and staying パギャル.. I feel people don't wear gyaru as a means of being themselves, "living by expressing your feelings with fashion", "expressing yourself through fashion". I feel like that message is lost on a lot of people. People don't treat gyaru as an extension of themselves. It's upsetting..   I don't understand why so many people want to start/be gyaru, but have no interest in fashion and makeup to begin with. It makes no sense to me. So many of these people don't want to put in the time to learn these things either, it seems they'd rather buy everything they can to 'look' gyaru without actually being it, so they never improve anything and never become themselves. Does that make sense?   I don't kn...

  Hi family, I don't really got much of anything fun to say. no wait. Okay I have 1 fun thing to say. But I wanted to talk about my weight problem today so feel free to skip this entry 🦧  But uhm, I don't know how I want to start.... Got told by another lady while out at work today that she's jealous of how thin I am. It made me think of working at the salon last year and the teachers & clients at nail school. I've actually put on 5-8 pounds since 2021 😺, but I still don't weigh as much as I did. It just sucks when people say these things to me, cause like. I know the majority of people, especially ladies, don't have 'my' weight problem, theirs is the opposite. So most people take what I'm saying as boasting :/. It just sucks.  Back in 2020 I had started a new medication that made me sleep 19 hours a day, everyday, for 2 weeks. And I had lost 20 pounds in those 2 weeks as a result. If I had weighed any less than I did before starting it, I woul...

  Hi family, today I decided to do an agejo look using one of my dresses I've only worn once. When I'd worn it before I didn't have any wig pieces. Let me see if I have a pic to compare. .... I think I deleted them :/ hmm. Still. Today was a revamped look of of what I'd previously done.  today's outfit pic dress: Sugargloss MA*RS tights: target shoes: Dear My Love necklace: Jesus Diamante accessories: swap meets, savers digi cam pic & pinterest style purikura (⁠=⁠^⁠･⁠ｪ⁠･⁠^⁠=⁠) I liked how this one turned out even though I don't love the pic and then on my phone, I liked this one the most (⁠◡⁠ ⁠ω⁠ ⁠◡⁠)  That's as much as I have as far as today's look goes so if you'd like to avoid my brain arsenic, I'll see you next time :-3)  As far as brain arsenic goes, I have been having a terrible 2 weeks. I've been doing mainly tsuyome/reiwa style makeup & outfits recently. I haven't been happy with them at all. When I go out ladies like the ...

  Hi family, my beautiful order came in the mail yesterday and I felt good enough to do a look :D sideways ass pic... but, full outfit pic 🩷 bow: MA*RS jewelery set: Alba Rosa pearl necklace: antique mall set: Amoeba MA*RS shoes: Rhapsodelle, no brand(?)  I wanted to add the Alba jewelery to the look to make it more.. me,,, but also, you know how the Chinese gals wear DIA with MA*RS and things like that, or they just combine features of different substyles? I wanted like, a small version of that; I don't think it's very noticeable that it's even Alba www :3 like it still looks very much so hime/agejo <3  But as far as putting things together, I wanted to look like Himena Ousaki & Hime(mancer); they're my 2 biggest and favorite agejo inspos 🫶 I feel like until this look, my make didn't make me really look like Himena, but with the Prisila's (wig pieces) and the lashes, I think I pulled it off :D I love Himena 🩷🩷🩷!!  my fav Himena pics 🩷   I did my l...