パギャル cont..

 hi family. I haven't felt like posting or writing. I've mainly been active on twitter since lots of my friends are on there too and I think it's easier to talk through comments and posts on there than on insta. 

 Been having a generally terrible week for a multitude of reasons.

 I don't have a lot of money and I feel like an ass just being in my house. I can't really go out tho, cause that costs money. But then, I also don't want to spend my time getting dressed and doing makeup, cus when I go downstairs my family looks at me like I am the biggest burden on their life. Spending my time getting ready to look like Barbie while I have 200 bucks flat to go do nothing while they're sitting in the kitchen after being at their jobs. But then the opposite is also bad. Don't look presentable and go downstairs. I still did nothing and I take up space in the house. End of the day, I'm unemployed and my dad hates my routine whether I have a job or not and is constantly debating throwing me out.

 But.. for that general reason, I haven't really been wanting to do hime anymore. I feel like a tool coming home looking like Barbie and they're all sitting eating dinner. What've I been doing with my day..

 I need to move out......literally not an option that exists in the current economy, job aspect aside.. family,... kill me.. PLEASE!!

 I just feel so out of place all the time. When I go out dressed in hime, that's the only time I'll really have normal interactions with people outside. I wish I could just sit in my car forever.